instead of moaning , inform him that Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.

contremo:

i dont think my parents realized their kid was growing up to be a over-emotional sarcastic asshole thats addicted to the internet

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

out of his container

it’s ice cream

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

My parents were watching Ellen and my dad called me into the room so they could both laugh at me about this

(via/follow The Absolute Funniest Posts Blog)

chocolatejigglypuff:

mycroftsmindtardis:

iamsuperbat:

offmytitsonhappiness:

Can we just stop and appreciate Nicki Minaj’s face for a moment. She looks genuinely very concerned for Josh here, like she thinks he was actually in an arena full of kids trying to kill him, and is confused as to why no one else finds this as shocking as she does.

What do you expect? People from the Capitol just don’t understand.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? PEOPLE FROM THE CAPITOL JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.

always reblog

thewonderyearstrong:

thewonderyearstrong:

pitbullfan:

blogging in front of your parents

Lmao. That’s Not Tumblr. That’s MineCraft ahhaha Nooooob lmao

I got literally hundreds of hate messages for this comment

stay-ocean-minded:

niick4:

danger-mouz:

calirosegold:

patronustrip:

tootsienoodles:

freackthehopeful:

skylarghost:

weasleyrocksyoursocks:

seong:

I AM FUCKING SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING EVER

SWEET JESUS

You have your mother’s cheek bones

godDAMMIT NOW WE’RE SHIPPING CUTLERY

TUMBLR YOU NEED TO S T O P

I hope this post comes back to me when it has a short story attached. 

The Utensils were a happy family, just like any other. Fork was a loving, caring father, who worked at a bank, and Spoon was his beautiful wife, who owned a small business that allowed her to spend a lot of time with their son, Spork. Every day, when Fork came home from work, he gently clinked against the rim of Spoon’s face and asked how her day had been. She would go on and on about how her Aunt Bowl was letting anyone fill her up these days, and telling him he would never guess who they got a phone call from today (it was his brother, Knife), and he would just lean back against the china cabinet, staring at his wife’s beautiful reflective surface, and know everything was right in the world. 

One day, however, everything was suddenly not right in the world at all.

Fork woke up in the silverware drawer and instantly knew something was wrong. He looked over to where Spoon normally slept, confused when he saw nothing but empty space. Or, at least, he thought it was empty. It took him a minute to see the small note left there. Oh no. God, no, he thought.

He picked up the note with shaking prongs, and read amid tears:

“Fork,

     I’m sorry to leave you like this, but I just couldn’t face seeing you. It’s too painful. I’m not strong enough to tell you this to your face, and I know that makes me a coward. I know that makes me a horrible utensil. But I can’t do this anymore.

     Do you remember Cow’s party the other night? The night she was so drunk she swore she jumped over the moon? Well, I met someone that night. His name is Dish. And we’re running away together.

     Please, don’t try and find us. Dish makes me happy. He doesn’t spend all day staring at me, looking at himself in my reflection. 

Goodbye, Fork.

-Spoon”

Fork collapsed to the ground, wishing he could tell Spoon that the reason he loved staring at her reflective surface so much, was because of the way her surface magnified everything around her, making it seem so much greater and more beautiful than people could see themselves as normally. Her personality did the same thing. It’s what he loved most about her. And what he would miss most of all.

I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS FUCKING SITE.

bra..fucking..vo

sweet jesus i’m crying over cutlery

things like this make me happy i have a tumblr

ilysm tumblr

lulz-time:

roberrtt:

dj jesus died for your spins

Via/Follow The Absolute Greatest Posts…ever.

bloodmagik:

when people say they like a band but dont know the drummers grandmas maiden name

love

tupacabra:

prettygirlfrommichigan:

tupacabra:

name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense

wat are u talking about they all make scents

shut the fuck up

laugh-at-me-br0:

What if my child ends up having an outie belly button

Like what am I supposed to do with it